My life

I had a bunch of blogs and realized I was just ranting every day. They were lengthy and even annoying to me. So I decided to just do one blog & get it out in the open and try to be done with it.

My sister: Not much to say. She just graduated college. She's looking for a teaching job. She lives an hour away. She just got engaged. She is doing her own thing. I don't rely on her to help w/ the kids. She see's them about once a month.

My mom: I don't know how she functions. She always says "I raised my kids" but that's not true. My grandma raised us. Even her own friends will say that. She doesn't help w/ my kids. She has had my daughter 4 x's over night since she's been born. She does not just randomly watch her so I can get stuff done. She is awkward around the kids and doesn't seem to know what she's doing. She has a well paying job that she's been at for 13 years and has a college education and always praises herself on how smart she is but she can't figure out how to use a fountain machine at McDonalds. Book smarts is about where it ends w/ my mom (and my sister is the same way!)

My daughter: she'll be 3 soon. She's a hyper little attitude filled nut but I love her! She's the best!

My son: he'll be 2 in April and he's a ball of hate. He walks around yelling at everything and screaming most of the day. He is a tornado and doesn't stop. He's my special little man and I couldn't imagine my life w/ out his chaos!

My husband: He is a hard worker. Sometimes we joke that we don't see each other in the winter because he will work a 12 hour day & then snow plow all night. He's an awesome provider. He takes on a lot of stress & is on high blood pressure pills. He works for his family and his mom causes him way to much personal stress at work. Some days he comes home and just wants to sit quietly because of how stressful working with his family is. He has tested for various FD's and PD's in hopes of moving, but he's only on call lists....so for now, we are stuck w/ him not being so happy with work and having to deal with more then necessary.

Myself: I am currently a SAHM, I miss working but with my husbands insane schedule, it is impossible for me to work. I cannot have a night job because of if one of his employees doesn't show up, he has to go back to work and that leaves me taking care of the kids. During the winter months I am at the mercy of snow. So once the kids go to elementary school I'll be hopefully finding a part time job. I have not had an easy life. My father was abusive. I lost my 1st tooth because he hit me that hard in the back of the head. My mom stood back and didn't seem to care. They would seperate often. My grandma basically raised me (she past away July 30, 2010). I helped raise my sister who is 9 years younger then me. By Junior High I was cooking dinner, doing laundry, doing the dishes and cleaning the house. I would get scrutinized for my academics falling behind but I didn't have time for them. By my freshman year my mom told me my ass was as big as the couch (I was 140lbs) and I then suffered from annorexia. She took me to a dr. to have me evaluated & I was threatened w/ an eating clinic. I began working out 2 hours a night (minimum) and weighing myself at least a dozen times a day. My outlet was sports. I started playing V.B just to get out of the house. I only went to college part time because my mom expected me to pay rent and have a job. I ended up not even getting my associates. I began working FT and moved out with a rommmate. I've been out of the house since I was 19. My mom and I do not have a good relationship. I worked 2 jobs at one point (70 hours a week) just to make ends meet while she was traveling all over and taking my sister to hawaii, disney and other nice places. I vowed when I had kids I'd be a better mom. I met my husband in 2004, we were engaged in 2005 and married in 2006. I suffered from an ectopic in 2007, and a m/c a few months later. 5 mo. after that I conceived my daughter and then she was born in 2008. My son was born in 2010. I lost baby #3 on June 1, 2010, I was possibly exposed to fifths disease. I was 12 weeks pregnant. We are currently ttc baby #3.

I feel like I do not have anyone I can really rely on. My family is not there for me and my husband works a lot. Sometimes I am very lonely. I have a best friend who lives an hour away and I love my cousins but they all live in southern Illinois. We wanted to move down there but just couldn't. My husband has job security working for his family.

My soon to be ex (evil) sister in law: she's the devil. I don't know how else to sum it up. she's an ER nurse at christ hospital and she's truely evil. She admitted to neglecting patients. So I know she's evil on a professional level as well as a personal level. She was nice to me until my husband and I got married. Then apparently her marriage wasn't doing so well so she decided to turn on me. She was going to my mother in law (MIL) and telling her lies. Just stupid lies like I was mean to her, I was calling & emailing her & being mean, she'd try to talk to me and I refused. I had no idea this was going on and couldn't figure out why MIL was being so cold to me. (BTW, this isn't MIL's daughter, this is her son's soon to be ex wife!). MIL would come to work & yell at my husband saying he needed to get involved that this all needed to be fixed. We had no clue what she was talking about. My hubby ended up on high blood pressure meds. It was a mess. Everytime I tried to talk to my MIL she treated me as if I was the liar. My soon to be ex sister in law started dating my neighbor & came over drunk one night and fessed up to everything, that she was manipulating my MIL because she was miserable and her marriage was failing so she wanted us miserable and for our marriage to fail too. she said she got the "bad" son and was ticked that I got the one that wouldn't cheat (her husband cheated on her. But come on, she met him 'cause she was the other woman, what did she expect? once a cheater always a cheater!). My husband told all of this to my MIL and she still was on Heather's side and refused to believe us. Then I was at my MIL's house and DD was hanging like a monkey on my arm and I was holding her hand as she jumped off the 1 step that goes down to the sunken living room & her arm got dislocated! It was insane. I rushed her to the pediatrician (he said he could fix it, no need fo rthe ER). MIL told Heather this story  and then Heather was going around like it was hot gossip, like I abused my daughter. Even the pedi knew it was an accident. I was a hysterical mess over it. Seeing my daughter in pain was like a knife in my chest! Then Heather was spreading more rumors about my kids and then she broke up w/ our neighbor and wanted my MIL to take his things to work to give to my husband so he could return it! WTF? And MIL did it! So this woman can just have a house land on her for all I care, she's so mean. I try not to even let my kids play with her daughter, I don't care if they are cousins. Heather flat out told us she'll do whatever it takes to hurt us and destroy our lives. All because we have a happy marriage. And this is a person who takes care of people in an ER. I will never go to the hospital she works at.

My MIL: She's stupid. She is manipulated. I think she is 2 faced and I believe her to be a liar as much as my soon to be ex evil sister in law! I do not trust her. She takes sides w/ Heather and she doesn't care that Heather wished her one son dead in a fire (he's a firefighter). She is cold and I think she's a sorry excuse for a mom and though she is a good grandma, I do not trust her much. I cannot trust her because she lies to my face. she's there for us when we need her (if someone ends up in the hospital or if someone is sick) but other then that I try not to rely on her much because I was catching her in lies. We told her we didn't want Heather near our kids and she would arrange play dates behind our back. We catch her in lies on a weekly basis about Heather.

My Brother In Law: Firefighter. Cheater. Selfish. Only cares about himself and sometimes who he's dating. He was a terrible father and an alcoholic but he seems to be better now. His new girlfriend and him have quit drinking and he spends more quality time with his kid. He is not there when his family needs him. He never cared about the problems his wife (at the time) was causing and didn't care about the stress it was causing on his brother. He's basically a craptastic womanizer and he's kind of ugly too. Not quite sure how he would take home a different woman every night. When the family business flooded he was no where to be seen. My husband was awake for 2 days cleaning up water, and his brother...not around. BUT the business goes to both of them. So my husband his killing himself, and my brother in law still gets half even though he has no clue about anything and doesn't care what happens to the place.

My niece: I hardly call her that. When my sister has kids those will be my nieces and nephews. My husbands niece is a brat. It's all because of circumstance. Her mother teaches her to be mean and say mean things like "why do you hate my mommy" so she's obviously telling her people hate her. She is mean to my kids. She has temper tantrums. She has an attitude and I hate her around my kids. Everyone who meets her says it's a shame. It's a shame that someone so evil had a child because now she's just creating a little monster. Riley was once innocent, actually, she still is. She only knows what she's taught and she is not being taught well at all. She gets sick and her mom thinks she knows it all & doesn't take her to the dr. She had strep over 6 x's last winter, hand foot & mouth disease, fifths disease, an upper resp. that required her to be on breathing treatments and various other colds and her mom says "she's not sick" and ignores it. She has a problem w/ her foot & is supposed to wear special inserts otherwise she'll have a life of problems. She won't be able to run. She won't be able to participate in sports or hold down a job that requires her to stand for long. All she needs are inserts. But because her mother wants her to wear cute mary janes and flip flops (even though the pediatric orthopedic specialist told her never to put her in flip flops) she does not wear inserts. She should be in gym shoes all day, even when in the house w/ the inserts in the gym shoes. But her mom is selfish and wants her daughter to be fashionable and is ruining her for life. This poor child doesn't stand a chance.