Just want to scream

So I was invited to a FB group about remembering fallen reavis rams. They were stupidly discussing my step dads death. It just ticks me off. He was one of the best people I ever knew and the only family member that really meant anything to me.

One person thought he died of cancer. One person mentions his sister Kathy but not his sister barb and then they're bragging about his son Kevin starting law school.

OK, real quick....Kathlene borrowed money non stop and gambled it away. She was terrible and he couldn't tolerate her most of the time.

His sister Barb (the one no one remembers) is the one we still talk to. she's so sweet!

His son, stopped coming around when he turned 18 and didn't get child support anymore. Rich had to beg him to come around. His aunt Barb tries to talk to him, he won't return her calls. Kevin got Rich's portion of grandma's marge house when it sold (after she passed) and he pulled up in a new hummer (from Rich's life insurance policy that kevin got) and took the money from barb ( about $60,000 ) and then left. That was it. She can't hardly even get a returned email from him.

Way to brag about the sister and kid who didn't care and forget about the family that would have loved him if he didn't have a penny to his name.

OH I cannot wait for Karma to kick these people in their @sses!

been gone so long

I haven't blogged in so long. I have been reading books like crazy. This is what I do to "escape". Jackson screams and climbs all day long. I try to take the kids out to do stuff but sometimes I feel like I'm failing. We go to the park, little red school house, mall, zoo and basic shopping all the time but I'm just so stressed lately. Amber's birthday party was this past weekend. I can't believe my baby girl is 3 years old! We had a block party the same day. It was awesome. Unfortunately it rained most of the day.

I have somewhat halted at writing my book. Not writers block, I know where I want to go with it. I'm just so absorbed in these books I've been reading.

I had started the wondrous strange series a while ago and it was good and now I'm on book 2 and it sucks. I'm disappointed. I read the wings series and I cannot wait until book 4 gets released that series is awesome! LOVED IT!

And I have a bunch of series of books I'm waiting on conclusions for....
My blood approves series by amanda hocking
Need series by carrie jones
Sleight by Jennifer sommersby
and now Wings by aprilynne Pike.

I hate having things lingering where I can't  just be done with them.
these books were all soooooo good.

I heard the 2nd book in the Slieght series comes out in the fall, as does the last book of the My blood approves series. I think the last book in the Need series comes out in like December or January and the last book of the wings series not until freakin' May of 2012. Gah.....That series is awesome. Disney bought the rights to it to make it a movie. BTW, I'm team Tamani.

I have an ass load of books here at home to read too and I'm totally slacking on them.

This coming weekend we're taking the kids up to Union IL to see Thomas the Train. We bought tickets a month ago. I can't wait. I think it'll be a good time.

so much to do lately

I've been so swamped lately. Not like I have "followers" LOL. I am exhausted. I had another chiro appointment today, I had to go to the dollar tree & get more decorations for Amber's b-day party. I stopped and rented a jumper for her party next Saturday and then hit up Walmart for stuff for her candyland table and the party in general. Lots of N/A beverages. Since we're doing the block party too we're just telling people BYOB. I also had to get Liz's son Riley a birthday gift. Bob took Rocky to be neutered this morning & now took Amber with him to go pick up Rocky and bring him home. Hopefully we hear all good news about Rocky. I'm worried about these spots on his stomach and his eye lids.
He has lots of eye boogers.

I just put Jackson down to bed. He didn't afternoon nap. Normally he goes down at 6:30pm but he went down at 6pm tonight.

Tired

I'm just so tired.
The kids have had me exhausted.
Getting my period has me depressed.
The thought of flying to FL in a few weeks has me nervous.
I am taking Amber for her 3 year check up today and Barb's babysitting Jack so I don't have to take him with.

I've decided to try writing a book as a stress reliever. My goal is a chapter a day. I don't even know where I'm going with this. I just write and see what comes to me. I didn't even know what direction I wanted this book to go in when I started it. I'm still waiting to see where it takes me. It's hard to write at all. I take an hour while the kids are napping but usually Amber's up about 3x's telling me she has to pee.

Maybe writing this book will help take my mind off of ttc.

July wasn't our month, but it was a busy month

Well, AF came. So July wasn't our month. I was really hopeful and I think I started thinking I had symptoms that just weren't there. TTC is such a roller coaster. I know everything works out for a reason. We're going to FL in a few weeks so it'll be nice not feeling like crap while we're down there.

We had our garage sale Saturday and that went over pretty well. I hate those early birds though who won't go away. Who insist on sorting through everything before we even had it out on the tables. It was very annoying. Even though we told them "9am" then I had one woman stand there and tell me we should have opened our garage sale sooner. I said "I have a 1 and 2 year old, this is the soonest I could do, they come first." She continued to stand there and stare at me through my fence.

So I let out my 3 dogs. She didn't seem to happy about that and told me she was scared of dogs because she was bit once. I said, "Well, at 9am when the garage sale starts here, then we'll put them in the house".......They were behind the fence, in my yard where we were setting everything up at. She was the one trying to get into my back yard with me telling her "no, not yet"..........Stupid people.

Yesterday my sister came over and hung out. It was nice. We played w/ the kids in the pool and grilled up some salmon burgers, regular burgers and hot dogs. She stayed til like midnight. I'm so tired today, but it's well worth it. We never do much anyways.

Jen from animal heartline rescue told me she put Rocky up on Petfinder. I'm sad. I really do want to adopt him but part of me is holding back too because he might have some medical issues. I'm not sure we're in a place right now to take on large vet bills. He keeps scratching at his stomach and I found wierd things that look like moles. Maybe it's nothing but we'll know Friday. Also, his eyes tear a lot and he paws at them. I think he has a condition where the lower eye lid flips under and irritates the eye.  This requires surgery to correct. We're going to get him vaccinated and neutered and we can do other minor vetting, but getting into surgeries on a dog we just took in to help out with....that might be a bit more then we can deal with. BUT I don't want him to be miserable, if we don't help him, who will?