Utter Hatred

My rottweiler Carl has an utter hatred for the mail man. It's unbelievable. He charges the wall, window and back door while barking & growling trying to get outside. As soon as I touch him he calms down and if the kids are in the room he'll settle but still want out but it's obnoxious. Of course both kids are finally napping and I'm getting computer time and he starts his growling/barking insanity. A bark that comes out of a 120lb rottweiler is NOT anything like a bark from a smaller dog. My mom once compared his growling rumble to a bear LOL. So both kids starting moving in their beds. I'm hoping they settle back down. I love my Carl but sometimes I wish he would just settle down a little bit, he gets the other two crazy hair balls going with his shannanigans and that leaves me trying to settle down not only a 120lb rottweiler but a 60lb lab/coonhound mix and an 85lb lab/cane corso mix. GAH.....So at least now he's outside charging the fence 'cause the mail man is still on our block. And the funny thing is, he loves all people, I really think if the mail man came to the door that Carl would wag his nub and want to be pet.

short fuse

I just feel like I have a short fuse lately. I'm so tired and sick to my stomach and the kids are driving me bonkers. I can't wait to start to feel better. Between the constant screaming and messes and then the crying and fighting and then always needing something I find myself shaking and sick most of the day. Once I can eat w/ out feeling like crud I know I can handle the very day normalness of a 3 year old and 21 mo. old. I just need to make it a couple more weeks. I'm so happy our babysitter is coming over 2 x's a week from now on. Mondays and Fridays 1pm-5pm. It'll help me to get cleaning and shopping done w/ out worrying about the kids and I can even squeeze in some much needed naps. Amber goes back to preschool Wednesday too. Having only 1 kid in the mornings helps a lot!!! Even if it is only for 2 hours. When Jackson's alone he doesn't have anyone to fight with so he just plays or goes through books and puzzles while I get ready at my slow (trying not to vomit) pace. I feel like such a cruddy mommy lately.

Stinkin' Cold

I am so sick of this cold I could scream. I mean honestly, I've been coughing for like 8 weeks now. It's so bad that I'm to the point that I pee myself a little when I go into a total coughing fit. I also randomly vurp from the mucus and the acid reflux issues I'm having. The pregnancy isn't even bugging me much anymore in comparison to this cold. I threw up a stomach full of post nasal drip this morning. It's terrible. I was so dehydrated last night that Bob ran out to get me gatoraid. I can't stomach water. It's disguisting to me. He even admitted I wasn't looking to good. I feel like I've hit a brick wall most of the time.

My friend told me to try vitamin D3 in 5000IU dose (that's what her dr. who is a naturalist tells her to take). I googled around and it seems most dr.s recommend this for pregnant women in 4000IU dose but that some in only 400!!! WTF? So I think I'm going to meet in the middle. I researched the vitamin and it seems to have only good effects. My dr. is so conservative he'll probably advice against it. He's even known in the hosp. as being one of the most conservative doctors. He's a very good dr. But some things I feel like he could give a little on.

I'll probably call my general practicioner and ask her since she works through a different hospital and is less conservative. There is an ob/gyn in her office so she'll prob. confer with her and get back to me.

Nervous

My appt is in 40 min. My hubby is running late.
My stomach is super upset. I'm starving and there's nothing here I can eat (w/ out nearly vomiting)
The kids are being super gremlins and this cough is so bad that I even pee myself sometimes.
I'm sooooooooooo nervous about this u/s. My last one was when I m/c'd at the u/s office and nearly hemoraged to death. This is so hard for me to even walk into this office again and go through this again. I feel like I could have a panic attack having to go back there. I wish my dr. had other options.

I wish my stomach wasn't burning from hunger either. I had cream of wheat for breakfast & 2 pieces of toast w/ cream cheese around 10am.....soooooooooooo hungry I'm light headed. Today is not a good day.

Jackson also slammed his hand in the bedroom door and refuses to nap. He's just walking around crying and whining. I'm so stressed I don't want to deal with this. I just want to go by myself. I don't want my husband going with. I'm a ball of nerves and then I feel like I have to be a rock for him too and I just can't.

Happy Holidays

MERRY CHRISTMAS! :-)

I can't believe Christmas is 2 days away! It seems like we just celebrated Thanksgiving. We have a very busy holiday weekend planned. Today Bob gets off work at noon and he's bringing Lorena home with him. She'll be babysitting for us since I have a 1:20 ultrasound appointment. Hopefully we'll find out how far along I am soon. Tonight Lisa & Mike are coming over to exchange Christmas pressents. Last night Bob took Amber to our other neighbors (John & Chrissy) to exchange. My cough was really bad so I stayed home and let Jackson go to bed (we had planned on keeping him up to open gifts but he was tired anyways). They got Amber a cute hair bow set and a diary set that came w/ a pen that has 2 colors (all of which were proudly displayed on Amber's legs this morning LOL). Wednesday morning our neighbor Tracey stopped by to drop off gifts. She got us a game for game night and the kids a tent w/ a crawl tunnel. Since we have a crawl tunnel (and not much room for the tent) we took it to the play room at the tennis club & the kids had a BLAST! It was a great gift! Since they're up there playing 3 days a week it will get lots of use!

Tonight we're also going to let the kids open the gifts Caletta got them. She sends quite a bit & since they're 3 & almost 2, they get bored of opening after 10 min. & want us to do it. So we break it all up so they enjoy everything. We'll open Mike & Lisa's, after they leave I plan on making sugar cookies with Amber (so we'll have cookies to leave out for Santa of course) and then we'll open Auntie Caletta's gifts. Saturday morning we're going to Bob's mom's at 10am. She's doing brunch. So they'll open up whatever their Grandma & papa got them and I think whatever their cousin and uncle got them too. After we leave Bob's mom's we'll prob. swing by our house, drop off gifts and let the dogs out & then head over to my mom's.

Bob's family tends to over do things and over buy and I feel like it's a competition and a bit chaotic. Thankfully my mom's is much more low key. She gets the kids each 2 gifts. 1 is a small box of clothes (one or two outfits) and then a nice toy. She sends a savings bond since it's the gift that will keep giving. We'll have lasagna and an amish chicken and just relax. It's a nice time. If we have time we'll go to church but since we're going to be driving all over I'm not going to rush.

Christmas eve I'll have the kids throw out the "reindeer food" into the front lawn and leave cookies & milk for Santa. We'll set up a few toys so when they wake up on Christmas morning they'll see them. I have a folding slide and some stuffed animals and a cop car for Jackson.

My family (mom, sister & her fiance) will come over around 10:00'ish and we'll hang out, open gifts and I'm making Christmas lunch. It's nice and laid back. I love it. I'm making a huge meal! I'm a little nervous because I'm making a turkey breast for the 1st time ever. We're having turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potato, sweet potato, gravy, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, sweet corn and I have a cheese & sausage platter to set out and I'm making deviled eggs. I have red velvet petit fours for dessert. I also am making my famous apricot swizzle punch. I can't wait.

frazzled day

We went to church w/ the kids this morning. I was shakey and feeling crappy so we dropped Amber off for Sunday School & ran over to McDonalds. Jack fell asleep in the car so we ate in the car & woke him 10 min. before we had to pick Amber up & head over to service. He was crabby. He crabbed through all of service. It was communion today and I'm so used to communion at my old church where we take the cracker & then a drink from a small thimble cup that I didn't even think about it. We get in line at this church, take the cracker & then most dunk the cracker in a community cup. Well, since I have only taken 1 communion here I forgot and ate the cracker & then got to the cup. GAH. So the man was like "take a sip".......great...........I felt like such a dork drinking from the community cup but for my entire life (up til this church, and like I said, this is my 2nd communion here) it was cracker from pastor, walk over to a tray of tiny thimble cups, drink and place empty on the next tray. So it was 2nd nature to eat the cracker 1st. I hope I'm not the only person who had to drink from the community cup, I felt (and still feel) like a dork. Dork Dork Dork. I need to put a note in my bible as a reminder that communion in this church is different then every church I've ever been to in the past. I was always raised "eat first, then drink" not take and dunk then chew soggy. Gah............stupid me. But we do like this church & it's amber's preschool so we're trying to attend more.

I came home and laid down w/ Amber to watch toot & puddle's christmas special & bob watched the bears game with Jackson. I feel asleep for 3 hours. I was so exhausted. I'm still not feeling right. My mom's coming over by 8:30am so I need to be dressed and ready 'cause tomorrow is Amber's pre-school Christmas recital.

worry

I probably shouldn't, but I can't help myself. I don't have as many symptoms as I use to have and now I'm worried that something is wrong with this pregnancy/baby. I wake up and I'm ok. I tend to get a little shakey feeling around 10:00am'ish and sometimes I feel like I hit a brick wall around 1pm-3pm. I did notice last night that I had a much more difficult time sleeping on my stomach and my boobs still feel like punching bags but I'm not nautious like I use to be. It has me worried. After my last loss that was so bad (I nearly died) I'm just worried. Very Very Worried! I go next Friday (6 more days) to the office for my scheduled ultra sound. I guess if I keep worrying I can call my dr. and see if he can tell them I need to get in sooner. I wish I weren't so paranoid. What's meant to be will be.

Last night we had Bob's work Christmas Party and I was able to eat for the most part. The ranch def. stood out to me on the salad and the soup seemed peppery to me (I'm always pepper sensitive) but dinner was good. The green beans were great, the steak was dry but ok. I didn't want to eat the chicken, it had a wierd smokey taste to it (Bob said it was great and there was no smokey taste) so I didn't eat that. I did love the ice cream after dinner. Bob was even surprised I was able to eat as easily as I did. So that has me worried too. Normally at night I don't eat so well.

I hate not knowing how far a long I am. I think I might be 8 weeks....I should be feeling much cruddier.